Last evening Alton Brown came back to his Southern roots and graced Charleston with his presence.
His show began with his original musical stylings with lyrics of the food persuasion, much to my surprise.
He then progressed to his list of 10 things he is pretty sure he is sure about food. He has used this presentation for many years, but is constantly changing and updating it. This is the latest version (as of a few days prior to his February 25, 2014 presentation) of the list.
So, without further ado, I present to you Alton Brown’s list of:
10 things I am pretty sure I am sure about food:
- Chickens don’t have fingers.
- Most crucial cooking skill: SALT!
- Trout doesn’t belong in ice cream.
- The best cook on earth is… [Your wife].
- The best ingredient to learn to cook with is… Eggs.
- The most important tool in the kitchen is… The table. *
- Wash mushrooms. **
- AMERICA Heck Yeah! ***
- Raisins are optional.
- Never eat a shrimp cocktail in an airport.
* The entire point of food and cooking is the table. Connecting human beings to one another is the whole purpose and reason for cooking. If you are not cooking for the table, then you have no reason being in the kitchen.
** I don’t eat mushrooms, and boy am I glad for this! Did you know they are grown in horse manure? No. Thank. You.
*** Eat American grown and harvested food. You may have to start eating in season, but trust me, if you think where the mushrooms grow is dirty, you don’t even want to think about situations surrounding food from other countries.
– Act II –
In Mr. Brown’s second act, he brought out his experimental kitchen equipment. The first device of which used a fire extinguisher to make flash frozen ice cream in 10 seconds. Although impressive, not quite as grand as the adult version of his childhood dream, the Easy Bake Oven. Alton Brown, the inventor of the MEGABAKE! An adult, or man-sized, Easy Bake Oven that can cook an entire pizza in a mere three minutes and thirty seconds. Gaze in awe below at his masterpiece, so large that he can use it as a mini stage upon the stage. I just hope my husband isn’t secretly making plans for one of these in our garage, because steering your food through your oven with a captain’s wheel, ain’t nobody got time for that!